Lucky Game

Lucky Game is very aptly named. It should consider itself damn lucky to have been played even once. The baffling thing is that it was developed by Lucky Soft – a person or persons who were so aflame with pride at their prodigious game development masterpiece that they named themselves after it.

No, Lucky Soft. No.

In Lucky Game, you shoot a ball at three slot machines using the venerable angle/power bar mechanic of every respected golf game of the last twenty years. Only (and here’s the twist that will have the marketing department fanning themselves like overexcited Victorian ladies) Lucky Game isn’t golf, or respected, or a game.

Shoot your ball. Land it in one of the easy-to-hit slots. Win some virtual money, or don’t. Repeat for nine rounds. Stop.

It’s gambling without any of the stuff that gambling is actually for. People don’t gamble because they like to watch the reels spinning. They don’t write corny poems about the elegant revolutions of each plastic circle, or cry themselves to sleep because they can’t bring that peerless beauty home with them. They gamble to win money and to risk losing it. Sometimes they gamble to annoy their wives, or to seem like reckless mavericks to their vacuous friends.

The only thing you can do with Lucky Game‘s currency is buy more slot machines to win more e-money to buy more machines to win more… The whole thing is mortifyingly reminiscent of administration: it exists only to sustain itself and make everyone who gets sucked into it as bored as possible.

Nine rounds? Why nine rather than ten?! Argh, neurotic rage!

Is there anything else you need to know? Well, in a tip of the hat ye olde reviews that I grew up with, I’ll cover all the other aspects of the game too.

Lucky Game is ugly.

Lucky Game‘s music was composed by someone with an astonishing gift for capturing the spirit of a bowel movement in musical form.

Lucky Game is as addictive as brushing your teeth with bleach, and as challenging as being asleep.

I usually cut developers some slack with their sub-par games as long as they seem to have done their best. I don’t see how Lucky Game‘s developers can possibly have tried their best at doing anything except making sure no one notices their product. I hope they succeeded at that, because they sure as hell didn’t succeed at anything else.

Go away, Lucky Game, and consider yourself even luckier that you don’t have a face to punched in.

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3 comments on “Lucky Game

  1. JazFusion says:

    “Shoot your ball. Land it in one of the easy-to-hit slots.”

    *snirk*

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